My Musings

Musing 11 – It doesn’t get easier – I just get faster

I love this quote from Lance Armstrong of Tour de France fame. It has given me two great insights to humanity. There will always be those who continually push life’s envelope, no matter the area of endeavor. And undoubtedly, subject to the cuts and grazes that occur in this space, there will be progress and learning. They will get faster/better/wiser/smarter. Life will always be challenging, exhausting at times and seem just as intense as day … Continue reading

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Lesson 7 – Healing can only happen at source

One of the saddest and most frustrating (for the client and myself) experiences I come across in coaching and life generally is peoples continual desire to attract and collect friends and acquaintances in an attempt to feel valued and valuable. It is my experience that we choose this “strategy” as a catharsis for past experiences. More specifically we do it to disprove the self-imposed damage created from the disconnection/ betrayal/rejection/scorn/isolation etc created through experiences with … Continue reading

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Lesson 6 – Accepting and acknowledging the shadow

We all have a dark side – our shadow as Freud calls it. You know, the one that wants to inflict pain (physical, emotional, mental or otherwise) on that person (or ones self) who: • Cut you off in the traffic • Put you down at work or school • Pushed in to the queue at the supermarket • Dumped you 5 years ago • Lied to get you in trouble, and keep themselves clean … Continue reading

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Lesson 5 – Your motivation needs to be positive AND negative

The world is awash with the concept of motivation, and particularly positive motivation. And it is a powerful concept, one that has earned many, many millions of dollars – through book sales, courses, therapy, coaching and other forms. But it doesn’t really work (not for long and not sustainably), and never will – at least not in isolation. It is time we embraced the duality, the yin and yang of motivation. To truly affect change … Continue reading

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Lesson 4 – To be authentic we must betray!

Oh, here is a toughie! If we are going to be this authentic and live true to our best self – I call it our Born and Unique Genius, we need to betray!! What does that mean? Imagine you decided that a friend of 20 years (you never felt they valued you, but in the past you didn’t value you either) was no longer someone you were going to spend time or energy on. You … Continue reading

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Lesson 3 – There are no Short Cuts

If lesson one was about being aware of who you are, then it needs to be appreciated that this is the hardest (but most important) thing to change – hence why people choose to just keep setting goals (or giving up on setting them all together), and keep falling short of success. Or just as justifiable, being OK with their beige mediocre lives, We only achieve outcomes that are a reflection of our own limitations. … Continue reading

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What Works and What Doesn’t (ever)

After 12 years, over 4,000 hours of one-on-one coaching, presenting to thousands of people in groups, facilitating change in corporations and businesses, I am just now beginning to truly appreciate what really works, and what doesn’t in empowering others to change and transform. My classroom (and coaching room) of life tells me this – most people will never change much because they don’t really want to. I know this sounds slightly negative and controversial, but … Continue reading

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