My Musings

Musing 14 – You are not that important, (or are you?)

WOW – what a revelation. We can spend a lot of our time reinforcing our status, our value, and our importance in the world, when really, maybe it is time to get real, and get over ourselves. Steve Biddulph in his book The New Manhood (2010), in quoting Franciscan Monk Richard Rohr’s 5 life truths of Manhood lists “You are not that important” as the Number 3 lesson for life. And, if you are wondering, … Continue reading

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Lesson 7 – Healing can only happen at source

One of the saddest and most frustrating (for the client and myself) experiences I come across in coaching and life generally is peoples continual desire to attract and collect friends and acquaintances in an attempt to feel valued and valuable. It is my experience that we choose this “strategy” as a catharsis for past experiences. More specifically we do it to disprove the self-imposed damage created from the disconnection/ betrayal/rejection/scorn/isolation etc created through experiences with … Continue reading

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Lesson 6 – Accepting and acknowledging the shadow

We all have a dark side – our shadow as Freud calls it. You know, the one that wants to inflict pain (physical, emotional, mental or otherwise) on that person (or ones self) who: • Cut you off in the traffic • Put you down at work or school • Pushed in to the queue at the supermarket • Dumped you 5 years ago • Lied to get you in trouble, and keep themselves clean … Continue reading

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Lesson 4 – To be authentic we must betray!

Oh, here is a toughie! If we are going to be this authentic and live true to our best self – I call it our Born and Unique Genius, we need to betray!! What does that mean? Imagine you decided that a friend of 20 years (you never felt they valued you, but in the past you didn’t value you either) was no longer someone you were going to spend time or energy on. You … Continue reading

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What Works and What Doesn’t (ever)

After 12 years, over 4,000 hours of one-on-one coaching, presenting to thousands of people in groups, facilitating change in corporations and businesses, I am just now beginning to truly appreciate what really works, and what doesn’t in empowering others to change and transform. My classroom (and coaching room) of life tells me this – most people will never change much because they don’t really want to. I know this sounds slightly negative and controversial, but … Continue reading

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